Florida Beach Life -October 18, 2021

Good morning Monday. My third Monday morning as a beach dweller. No AC needed today. The breeze is blowing through the screen door and I can hear the sound of the waves as I write. We had our first visitor today (other than Billy). A gentleman we met yesterday who is our downstairs neighbor stopped by with a gift- a beautiful pink and white orchid. He said he was from south Florida, recently bought the unit downstairs but he and his family were leaving today. He said he was in the “Orchid Business.” Realizing I may have had a slight frown on my face, I told him I am famous for killing plants, having already killed a few orchids, to which he replied, “Oh, they’re easy. Just wait until it is bone dry, then drench it. But don’t over water it.” “Okay, I said,” and mentally thought, we’ll see, maybe I’ll let this one live. Receiving a gift like this from a neighbor really made me feel as if this wasn’t just a vacation, but that I actually lived here. I think I’ve been chasing this feeling my whole life. The feeling of living on the beach. It’s not only because I WANT to be here, it’s that I NEED to be here. I need the carefree life the beach promises. I’ve got the beach part down, just not the carefree part yet.

Theme for today - just let go...let it be ok to NOT do PT on a scheduled day. Let it be okay to lay down and read, to write, to hear the waves and look at the ocean. Feeling truly awful today, I struggled with the decision not to do my regularly scheduled PT and Cardio. Sometimes my body can hit an invisible wall and just cease to have the energy to perform my regular routine. Many times I can push through the pain but today was not one of those times.

I never feel good about skipping or postponing exercise and this day was no exception. I took a few books and got comfortable on the bed facing the ocean and read, in my pjs. As relaxing as this could have been for me, that voice in my head kept chastising me for “laying around.” This voice is a frequent visitor and one I’d like to be rid of. It’s an area I have promised myself to work on down here. Why do I wait until my body is way past the point of needing rest, to rest? More importantly, why do I feel it’s not ok to rest? Or am I just tired of resting, as one with chronic pain must do, over and over? It’s a tough obstacle for a “can’t sit still” kind of person to navigate while battling daily pain. I know there’s a lesson here wanting to be learned but my stubborn self is hanging on for dear life.

Knowing it’s imperative not to let my feelings rule, I stuck with the resting all morning, then got dressed and got ready to prepare tonight’s meal. Billy is coming for dinner and I want to cook. I can’t put into words how great it is to be able to do this, to have him right down the street and be able to have him here for dinner. Since he graduated and moved here, the only meals we’ve been able to share are when he visits a couple of times a year up north. Those are usually lunches and are squeezed into his very tight schedule. When he leaves, I know it will be months before I see him again.

Wishing I felt better to cook, I started to work on one component, preparing the salad. When I turned on the kitchen faucet, nothing came out! Any other day would have been better but this was my first time cooking for my son and I really didn’t want to do takeout. I placed a call to management who said they would look into the issue. Not knowing how long his was going to take, I thought about going to buy water. It was around noon so figuring I had some time I decided to wait. The call came at 1:20. It was a broken water main in the area and the entire condo development was affected as well as other homes. The water department was working on it and it would be a few hours. Gratefully, the water came back on by 3:30 and I was in business to start preparing a large pan of baked ziti.

We loved having Billy here. The dinner was leisurely and easy. There wasn’t the usual undercurrent of knowing he had to catch a plane or be somewhere else. We talked about how Paul was considering retirement and how Billy is trying to get to a place where he can retire young because,

“I have books to read, waves to surf and people to see.”

Simple wisdom from my son. Just what I needed to hear.

As his parting gift to me, he delftly caught the palmetto bug, you know, the one the size of a seashell, put it in a cup and threw it outside. I slept better that night but I was cautioned not to get too comfortable. He said, “Mom, if you want to live in Florida, you better get used to them.” Oh, the price I have to pay for living in paradise!