Blessings & Heartache -October 20, 2021

Woke up this morning to the same old, same old. A breath taking sunrise of bright orange fire peeking over the horizon line and quickly rising to shades of peach and pink and yellow, while casting a glow to the white clouds and streaks above. It’s like waking up to a new painting on the wall every day. So far I’ve seen 18 of them, one more striking than the next. How will I be when I get home and do not have this masterpiece to look at every morning? I’m not one who bursts out of bed first thing but I now put my Canon camera on my nightstand at night because I know that I will, in fact, burst out of my bed every morning here to capture the majesty.

Although the day started well, it was a mixed blessing of news. My brother was improving, Praise God, and the doctor said he should make a full recovery. I’m keeping in close touch with my sister in law and continue to thank God for His blessings and healing. It’s still a very scary time as anyone knows when this disease or any dreadful disease gets hold of a loved one. We continue to pray and hope.

As the day went on, more disheartening news arrived. I heard news of a high school friend’s passing under tragic circumstances and then another text informing me of a close college friend’s cancer diagnosis. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own chronic pain, I cease to remember all the hurt and loss in the world; events that can change your life in a moment and nothing is ever the same again.

In the wise words of Brene Brown,

“Every single person has a story that will break your heart. And if you’re paying attention, many people have a story that will bring you to your knees. Nobody rides for free.”

I remember the exact date that my pain became an unbearable daily struggle, five years ago in early November. My life has not been the same since. Often I can get lost in the feeling of the misnomer that everyone’s life is so much better. Such a common but human way of thinking. And then I hear tragic news of other’s hurts and I am once again propelled into the reality that no one, absolutely no one, gets out of this life without hurt.

How lucky am I in this moment to be facing my fears, getting closer to my God and being able to do it on oceanfront property? Blessed and grateful today and hoping for healing for me and all my friends and loved ones. For without hope, we are lost.