The Gift of Suffering - April 21, 2024

I vaguely remember the last time I felt okay.  It was a few days after last Christmas.

To some, this may sound hard to believe, but this is my life, and the life of millions of chronic pain sufferers. 

Definition of Chronic Pain

Being constantly in pain.  Yes, constantly.

Every single second.

The person is smiling?  Still in pain. Derry, NH

The person doesn’t mention it?  Still in pain.

The person says, “I’m fine.”  Still in pain.

How do we reconcile how bad we feel, day after day, year after year?  How do we deal with the dread of having to get up another day and cope with it, or the fear that it will never go away?  Friends, it is not easy.  In fact, I would say it is impossible.  Impossible, that is, without God.

God will not bring us to a place He is not.  Even in the midst of suffering, there is goodness – God! When the idea of taking a shower or making a bed seems insurmountable, we can look to these words:

Look at the Savior, not the situation.  Look at the problem solver, not the problem. -Rick Warren

Much of my pain is undiagnosed and I find the same sentence looping in my brain on a daily basis, “God, what is wrong with me?”  If I knew, then I could hope for some relief through targeted treatment.  When I don’t get that answer, I voice my “Why” questions.  Why is this happening to me?  Why do I feel so different?  Why can’t the doctors help me?  I am sure that whatever challenge you are facing, you have asked the “Why” questions too.  But God asks us to give up our “right” to know why certain things are happening.  He asks us for faith. He promises He is with us.

“Life is not about getting what we want.  We are not in charge!  Deep inside, what we really want is what God wants for us.  – "Rediscover Jesus"

What do you mean life is not getting what we want?  We are human and we want what we want.  And isn’t it okay to want to be healed?  Of course, it is.  And it’s also okay to want to be actively and physically involved in the world. But what is it God wants?  How can we be of service to Him if we can’t get out of our pajamas?  How can we make a difference to anyone if we are too sick to show up at family gatherings, at church or to meet friends?

It’s during these trying times I need to remind myself that my idea of making a difference may not be in God’s plan for me.  I do not have to overcome my health challenges for God to use me.  I do not have to think of my life being paused, and hope for it to get better, so I can physically show up and participate.  Despite what I am going through, God’s plan for my life remains rock solid.  I can produce fruit in the midst of suffering. I can produce fruit from my bed or sitting at my desk. They say God often does His best work from hospital beds.

This concept has been more than difficult for me, an overachiever with a perfectionist attitude.  I want to go, go, go and do, do, do.  God had a different scenario in mind.  I have seen how he has used me through my keyboard by blogging, writing stories and sharing my testimony with others.  I have been amazed at how many other suffering souls He has led to me, giving me the opportunity to comfort and encourage through phone calls, zoom and face time.  I have witnessed how my passion for photography and card making has enabled me to send scriptural notes to those the Holy Spirit prompts me to reach out to.  It is not what I envisioned for my life.  But I know the best way is God’s way.  I’ve often had to give myself a swift kick to get on the same page with Him and quit trying to fight Him to get my own way.  That never turns out well!

The truth is that suffering can be a beautiful thing, if we have the courage to trust God with everything, like Jesus did upon the cross.”  -Mark Hart

We are here for relationship.  First, for our relationship with God and His son, Jesus Christ.  This is the most important gift and relationship in our life.  When we are suffering, when we are desperate, that’s when we cling to Him the most. Would we be so quick to run to Him when all is well in our life?  He understands our pain. He knows what suffering is.  How can we not be thankful for the fact that He uses our suffering to bring us closer to Him, and in turn, closer to others?  These are the most important gifts of all.  Gifts I was not able to receive while I was “healthy,” working and busy.  Most times, too busy to hear God’s knock on my door.  He had important work for me, and I almost missed it.  I almost missed all the blessings I have received from experiencing a closer companionship with Him and the gift of being used to dry someone else’s tears, like He has dried mine.

Today, as much as I pray to be healed, I can also be grateful for what God has allowed in my life.  When I am tempted to give up, may I keep my eyes on Him and His promises, and claim His strength to endure.  I wonder what other gifts may come my way.  I can’t wait to see what He does next. 

Charlevoix, MI