The Waves That Test Me - May 25, 2022

Do you ever feel like you just can’t take one more thing? I guess we’ve all been there at one time or another. Lately it feels like the waves keep on coming. Like when you stand knee deep in the surf, analyzing the next wave and you tell yourself you can jump it, only to find when you try, it has knocked you down. Then you convince yourself you can handle the next one, but once again, you are knocked off your feet. You’ve still got some hope that wave number three is the one you will conquer, but alas, it is too high and too big and the force of it gets the best of you. Now you are depleted, and you don’t know if you can ever attempt to tackle another wave. If you’ve ever been knocked down by swelling currents like these, thrown upon the ocean floor, struggling to reach the surface and regain your footing, you know what it feels like to feel defeated.

My recent set of waves began again in January, just 2 weeks after I returned from my 90 Days at The Beach.

Wave #1 - 14 Weeks of PT for a painful knee/leg that “gave out” but has not been resolved

Wave #2 - A Level 10 Sciatica Attack

Wave #3 - A Covid Infection!

Wave #4 - A Bladder Infection

I won’t go into all the complications that accompanied these waves. Suffice it to say there were knee braces, walkers, canes, medication reactions, and a drug store’s worth of remedies. Not to mention the tears and emotional strain of coping with back-to-back events, sometimes two at a time.

In the middle of it, I wonder if I can handle, “one more thing.” Or if I will ever feel good again. God never promised us a life without the overcoming swells that roar up and threaten to overtake us. And He never said the waves wouldn’t happen one after the next, sometimes until we think we will drown in them.

The challenge for me has been not to focus on the waves, but on His promises. He loves us so much that He will not allow us to drown, even though we think we might.

“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty you will not drown.” Isaiah 43:2

Our minds often get drawn to what we see, the rocks on our path or the waves that are coming at us. It is difficult to shift our focus off the seen, and onto the unseen – the unseen ways God is with us, supporting us, comforting us and giving us strength. It is not a natural response for our human minds to think this way. The Christian way is not easy! I know I must make a concerted effort to recite scripture and take an active approach to trusting God and in everything I cannot see. When I have difficulty doing this, I simply go to Him and tell Him I need help. Help to greater trust what I cannot see. Help for the waves that are here and the ones that will invariably come again.

Yesterday, my simple prayer was, “God, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. You take over.” And sometimes, that’s all it takes. Me to finally realize I cannot do it without Him. I cannot stop the waves from coming, but with God fortifying me, His strength and love can help me glide over each crest to land back on the sand, surefooted and strong.

“Deep calls to deep at the sound of your waterfalls; All your breakers and your waves have rolled over me.” -Psalm 42:7

Today I am still recovering from Waves number 3 and 4. May I not fear the next breaker, knowing His mighty hand always calms the seas.